Help if you think your behaviour is abusive

Recognising and talking about how you have treated others badly is not easy. There is confidential help and support available if you would like to change your behaviour.

Redbridge Spotlight Programme

We have created the Spotlight Programme  for those who have been abusive and are committed to changing their behaviours. The Spotlight Programme is a safe space where we will help you to develop respectful and non-abusive relationships.

What is domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse is not always directed towards a current partner. It also includes behaviour towards an ex-partner or another family member aged over 16.

It is not just physical. You may recognise yourself in some of these behaviours:

  • hitting
  • kicking
  • putting your hands around their neck
  • threatening to kill them
  • demanding or forcing sex when they do not want it
  • withholding money from them
  • calling them names, putting them down
  • isolating them from family and/or friends
  • following or spying on them - in the street, in the car or online
  • frightening, threatening or intimidating them
  • playing mind games
  • damaging their property

What can I expect from the Spotlight Programme?

Building comfortable and respectful relationships within our programme begins with a clear set of guidelines.  Our service is:

  • welcoming: our facilitators will be with you every step of the way
  • supportive: you can raise concerns or discuss how you are feeling with your facilitator anytime
  • committed: we want all of our service users and their families to have healthy, respectful relationships and to lead fulfilling lives
  • non-judgemental: we know the courage it takes to join us. Our facilitators are here to help you, never to judge
  • inclusive and diverse: we respect the diversity of our local community and every person’s culture, ethnicity, language, gender and sexuality
  • created to suit your individual needs – we recognise that everyone is unique and will need different types of support, and our programme reflects this

What does the Spotlight Programme include?

You may be invited to take part in either individual sessions, group sessions, or a combination of both. The programme will cover a range of topics, including:

  • accountability
  • defining domestic abuse
  • gender, power and discovering equality
  • healthy relationships
  • beliefs, intents and behaviours
  • children living with domestic abuse
  • emotional and psychological abuse (coercive control)
  • understanding sexual abuse and respect
  • positive parenting

We ask you to:

  • attend all sessions on time
  • show a willingness to learn
  • be honest and open
  • be willing to face difficult emotions
  • work with us to build trusting and meaningful relationships

To find out more about the Spotlight Programme, email

Respect phoneline 

Respect phoneline is for domestic abuse perpetrators who want to change. They give confidential advice to help you stop being abusive. The free helpline also takes calls from partners, ex-partners, friends and relatives who are concerned about perpetrators.

  • Telephone (freephone): 0808 802 4040 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 8pm)
  • Email: (Monday to Friday,  9am to 8pm,
    Saturday and Sunday, 10am to 12 midday and 4pm to 6pm)
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